Struggle Inside

Everyday there's a struggle inside,
Everyday another tear to hide.
Empty body grows weak and cold,
Need a helping hand to hold.
Falling deeper and deeper into this disease,
My nevervending hunger I cannot appease.
Stomach aching from lack of food,
Self-criticism brings down my mood.
So tired of fighting, I can't anymore,
As I disappear to the bathroom and close the door.
Out of control, don't know how to deal,
Never knowing what I want, need, or feel.
Hating myself more with each day,
Want to be perfect no matter the price I pay.
Denial of hunger, build a world of lies,
Outside laughing, but inside my heart cries.