Comments : Everything

  • 17 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    The poem is full of emotion. I would suggest fixing the grammatical errors and punctuation as it will help with the flow and presentation. Here are some suggestions:

    want to make sure you're for real, not just letting me get by.
    Would you like to come over?
    Im not feeling to well tonight.
    Tears have got the best of me and I'm running away from fright.
    Would you like to come over?
    I'm missing you too much, make it up to me forever
    I promise I'll be there in sight.
    Somethings I've meant to let go.
    Just one word to say,
    I never really thought of you any other way.
    Those nights we left without a goodbye.
    I'm willing to make that up now, give me one more try.
    I promise to get the best of you, without stuttering this night.
    But is everything alright?

    You did a great job to be so young. If you keep writing, these minor flaws will disappear with experience. Nice job.

  • 17 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    Sorry I forgot the apostrophe in this one:

    I'm not feeling to well tonight

    And the first letter in the word beginning each sentence/line should be capitalized. :)