Am i really strong enough to protect myself?

Many have come before u, and perhaps many will come after u; but never again will i encounter another like u.

i have so many walls up, so many limits put in place to protect myself from pain, the pain i fear more than death itself. the pain of falling for someone and losing them; but with u, none of those walls, none limits existed.

although u were an intimate part of my life for only 2 weeks, i fell for u. i dont why i let u in that deep, i dont know why i allowed myself to develop such strong feelings for u, but i did, and now that u are gone i hurt, the fear is presant; the pain i tried so hard to protect myself from is back.

i want u in my life, i want to be able to call u mine and hold u and kiss u, but because our best friend has been in love with u for so long we can not hurt him. while i understand this i also understand that u make me feel like NO ONE ELSE ever has, i understand that i still want to be with u, and u tell me u still want to be with me, and that is what i am having the hardest time dealing with, i have to walk away from the one thing in this world i want more than anything else, how are u so strong? how can u walk away from me?