Jumping for joy over the news
so wonderful to know i achieved this on my own... i got into photography college
my new challenge
my dedication
this is what i am set to do...
joy again dissipated as the sadness set back in...again i should still be happy, especially since you're back...earlier than we thought but you're back and although joyed at the thought of knowing you're around...something is different something almost seems wrong.
have i done something wrong?
said something i shouldn't have?
i wish i knew what was wrong and never say nothing because i know otherwise.
blocked out...
feeling alone again
even though u say u miss me
i know u missed her more
but does that change how i feel?
the answer no it doesn't
maybe i am a bit depressed but i kept my promises to u to look out for her just like i always do and i also looked out for myself and didn't give up on life either.
now you're back maybe i should give up
because even though I've achieved the first step to where i want to be
i cannot defeat the sadness... the darkness...nor the fears
fearful that you'll go with her and i will be forever alone and suffering...
left with the dark thoughts...i no longer know who i am nor do i recognize myself in a mirror
tears invisible to all but me...fall each and every day. i could see something was wrong by the way u spoke to me today but i know not what it is...and for once u didn't know how i was feeling i exaggerated and told u that i knew not how i was and that for once satisfied u
things are a mess... abused, confused, hurt, alone, fearful and in the dark all these things are associated with me
most say its depression i wish to fight and say no way but i don't have the strength knowing what may be coming in the near future
