I really hope this isn't true, but this is a great poem, at first you think oh it's the girls fault she's ended up with a stranger n as you read thru u realise what actually happened. this is such a great poem

Wow, this almost sounds like it could be one of those warning commercials (ie don't drink, don't do drugs etc.) but with a lot more punch to it. It felt odd reading this and A Wonderful Toy back to back since the mood of both poems are so polar. Being a guy, I don't feel I relate to it as well as other females would, but it's good.

Haha this would be cool if it was used in an ad for drinking and drugs. But anyway. i thought the flow could have been better but it was pretty nice the way it was right now. I also like the words used..i can actually picture what was happening good job, keep up the good work

Wow! omg!!! this is so sad! i really hope its not something real that happened to you. that would be terrible..but its a really great poem! i love it! 5/5

I can't wait to read the other parts to this poem, this turned out a lot better than i expected it to.

I hate it when people say "wow." But thats what I want to say, because I can't honestly think of much else. Because it felt like you were confiding to the reader, a story somewhat, i couldn't stop reading it. There weren't any big words, literary elements, or too much imagry, but somehow I think this poem reads better without all of those things. The last line was the most impacting. Kind of like an "Aha!" moment.

I love how you ended it . I truly hope it didn`t happen, but the poem was brilliant . I couldn`t stop reading after the first line . At some parts the flow got a little rocky, but still , excellent job .

..__MiNDYY

Omg, that is so sad... did that really happen to you? I hope not... I'm so glad you decided not to make this an evil, explicit poem. They tend to be really bad. This was REALLY good. I mean, REALLY REALLY good. You're going my favorites list. Just one thing though...
I decided I would walk
Thought the fresh air would do me good
Now I wished I had called a cab
It would have saved my blood.
Good and blood don't rhyme. I dont know if you were trying to or not but they dont so... yeah. But good write. Very heart wretching and it tore me in two.

Excellent write... it was indeed very long, but very well laid out. There were a lot of thoughts that went into the poem and the suspense kept going till the end. I hope this was fictional as it was really a sad story. A couple of minor things though... there were a couple of lines where "to" should be "too" like "But the pain is to bad" and "But he was much to strong". Other then those... great write. Keep up the great work! 6/5

Everyone's right. you should send this in to those commercial places. if you're into that kind of thing. anyways, this is a super duper great poem and i really loved how at first you're all like, okay, so she slept with some random guy.. and then it's like, Oh my god. the flow, in a few places i thought was off a little, but maybe i just read it wrong or something. like the 300lbs part. maybe it would of helped to spell it out? i dunno. great poem!!
-Parker

Wow. this poem kept me at the edge of my seat. There was not one part of it that bored me - and longer poems tend to have parts where they lull. Great job, the ending was very powerful and moving. 5/5

Oh wow this is really good. and it's really not true? i could not make something up like this unless it happened.. you did a wonderful job on writing it! it was filled with so much emotion! love it! 5/5

~Kristina

Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow i LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE this poem.. its soo good!! disturbing and sad.. but still a great poem.. written beautifully .. great flow and rhyme..!!!

Wow such an amazing message, my mom is always warning me that if I go out never never leave my drink and now I am starting to realise why. very interestin job.