Well if you decide to edit it, be careful with you change cos it's brilliant. You kept up the steady rhyming thoughout which gave it an almost fluid flow and your words were brilliant, they seemed to speed up and slow down in my mind as i read when certain things were being described.
I loved it =)
5/5
*Gem*

Nooooooo no editing, I love it the way it is!
And you kept saying you had no idea where it was going, yet I think it turned out brilliantly! *Glares* No editing ya hear? Lmao
xx

Ooo i like this one also ... it is the best one soo far ... i really am begining to like your work

I really like this it flowed well.. I don't think you should really change anything. I like it the way it is. Except for a few spelling mistakes. Which is common:

I sprint up the path
Trees sway on ether side ['ether' I think you meant 'either' I'm not sure though?]

I slowly start to realise that [realize]

& Remember, Capatalize your I's. :]

Sorry! I know I keep bringing them up. But they bother me if I notice them.. Lol. Sometimes I don't. If you get annoyed with me pointing them out.. Just tell me. I'm really sorry. I just want to help out :]

other than that, I really liked it.. Maybe expanding your vocabulary will make it more interesting as well.

Great job. Keep it up, Hun. You're very talented.

Bri.x

This is a great poem! So are the rest of yours you're really talented, I hope I will be able to write poems like this someday!