Find The Key

I feel so happy,
But some how my heart is drowning,
I feel so alive,
But somehow my soul is pounding,

I feel so relieved,
But some how my love is burning,
I feel so stress free,
But some how my stomach is churning,

I feel like I want to scream,
But my conscious is keeping it all in,
I feel like I need to laugh,
But my pain just kills it with pins,

I know I need to tell you,
But god just wont let me,
I really want to open the door,
But I cant find the key