Living In A Bubble

Tonight as I lay here and cried
I realized it was three nights in a row
That tears have poured down my face
I can tell I am about to blow.

These memories are taking over my head
It feels a little like deja vu
Why did I let this happen?
Why I am always blue?

I miss my past so much
I wish I could go back in time
Be in a state of ignorance bliss
Again, believe everything will be fine.

My soul is empty and twisted
My heart is shattered and broken
I long to be cold and cruel again
So I don't have to feel any emotion.

I can remember
The first time I cried
How I wiped my eyes
And buried the pain inside.

I'm trying to move on
But I keep living in the past
It's so much more pleasant
Even if the present is slipping by fast.

I know I shouldn't do this
Know that this is wrong
But I don't know how else to cope
I'm not emotionally strong.

The present is too painful to bear
The future scares me more than words can say
So I'll continue to live in my bubble of the past
And ignore the present as it slips away.