Recovery

Some things don't seem real to me anymore.
The pain is so overwhelming sometimes, that I have no energy left for other things.
I want to be happy.
And, I try to be.
But, being sad is all I know.
I hold things in.
And letting things out is hard to do.
I constantly tell myself that this will pass.
But,, I've been telling myself that for almost 3 years now.
I am just so afraid of seeking help.
because, I know it's going to be hard.
And, it's only going to add more stress and pain.
i just don't know where to go or what to do from this point.
So, can someone hear my cry for help and point me in the right direction.
The direction to recovery.