Tears fall freely

All the night I stayed up thinking and crying for you was stupid and worthless because now you are long gone to me. All the lyrics to sad songs you always came to mind. Every tear seen through my eyes were because of you. I never should have put you before myself. When you said cursing words they sunk into my brain and when you couldn�t believe in me it hurt me deep inside. Those once said words are impelled into my heart and when they are repeated I keep dying deep inside. Especially when you leave it be, don�t apologize, don�t say a word. When you cant even accept that you have made a mistake it makes this pain im feeling everlasting. I�ve always wondered if you would care if you were to see this pain im feeling if you could only know what im going through would you care? Or would you just be emotionaless and not care, not see how you are killing me. I only wish that you would be able to feel what I am feeling but in a way that the pain is surreal for you because emotions don�t seem to hurt you in anyway actually when you are supposed to feel bad or upset it makes you stronger, stronger to feel nothing. Maybe if you were poor you could maybe understand a bit of what I am feeling. But emotions have more than two answers like rich or poor. At one moment you can feel like many many emotions, you can never just feel one emotion. When you are around me, you bring more sadness than anything more. And no money can change that fact. I don�t understand how you thrive on my pain. Is that why you saw more of my pain than others because it was the only time you paid any attention. Are you happy now that im beginning to hate you more and more each day, im beginning to know the real you and not enjoying one second of it. Every word that touched your lips was like pure poison � full of deceitful lies. Since I�ve known your true self its helped me figure out me� its helped me change I don�t know how but its made me a better person, become who I really am. Helped me show my true feelings and not care what others shall think. But you�ve done bad deeds to me too because the words that once were released from your lips are the ones I once stupidly believed to which have scarred me as far as not knowing who to trust or even how to trust. The one feeling that I once felt when you held me in your arms is long past and will never come back fully ever again. This story was never meant to mend hearts or put a smile on your face neither was it to make a tear fall and drop from you face. It was merely a piece of writing to show ones feelings, ones losses, ones tears. So many wishes I know concerned you, too many sad lyrics that have reminded me of you but now one very last wish that I never had met you.