Criminal cycle

by Shædow Poet   Jan 17, 2007


Sympathy cannot exist,
For a man with a gun,
Glued between his fingers.
Open my heart to such,
You'll fall into a darkened abyss:
I claw at the criminals.

These ethics sustain my foundation
cleanse the clog in a colorless ocean
draining the predators,
saving the prey.
Until I stumble:
when one leaves the prey
they create an evolutionary predator
whom, as been victimized
will realize a new reign of omnipotence
to the bruises browning
on own necks

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Innocent Fairy

    I'm sorry i must say that i loved the poem but it feels all over the place, not really complete,,like u never got ur point across or something like that,,it flows very roughly that i could not enjoy the poem as much as i wanted to,,but great wording and a good write

  • 17 years ago

    by Lady Vengeance

    Although it didn't rhyme, and rhyming so happens to be my fave kind of poems, i was surprised how much i liked it. it's got it's own rhythmic quality and you certainly have a flare for understanding other poeples positions.
    i really do think it was a brilliant poem. so yeah, i gave you 5/5 . oh yeah, could u vote on mine too? it would mean a lot.
    thanku muchly xo

  • 17 years ago

    by sibyllene

    First off, nice alliteration ; )

    There are a couple of thinks I have questions about.
    - do you mean "saving the prey?"
    -i wouldn't use "pray/prey" twice so closely together - it sounds like an accident or lack of wordsy, more than intentional.
    -do you mean "they create?"
    -i think "whom" should simply be "who," though you'll want to check on that.
    -and finally, i think you may have meant "on THEIR own necks," in the last line

    There's good meaning and feeling in this poem, just check on a couple of things to make sure that's how you want them. Have a good day!

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