Into the sky.

Scream to the graveyard sky, the clouds are gray without any forcast of rain. Ten miles from here is sunny. Scream happy birthday Mom, into the sky, pretend there is no ceiling above us and let it all out. Dig your knees deep in the dead grass surrounding the tombstone, wash away the dead dozen roses and renew them. You trace your finger tip into the words engraved into the stone. Every day seems like December, feels like yesterday I faced you. I sit down with the rest of the family I have left, grieving for your loss and tears dropping in the dinner plates as they are passed around the table. So lets pretend we dont miss the dead, and lets pretend we never knew them as well as we did. Lets pretend we all just dont care and move on with our lifes. Lets pretend we dont think about you at twilight, and lets only think of you when the sun rises, when we are half asleep. Lets put as little effort into thoughts of you, lets try to move on. Isnt possible I say to myself, isnt possible. Shrinking the hope of your return and facing the truth face to face. Look me in the eyes and tell me you are watching over me. Send me a sign and let it be a major one, one that touchs my heart with an angels hand. Rip my heart out, do it so brootal. Dont put me back together, I am not worth the time. I miss you, are you happy that I admit that? You were great, but I really wish I could remember you clearer even if I am old enough, even if it wasnt too long ago. you never left me with good memories as I had hoped. Sorry mom, but I never saw one gray hair on your head. You never wished to grow up so why should I?