"He says he doesn't care,
he doesn't want to be around her.
He says hes sorry,
about it turning out this way.
He says its not his fault,
he would rather have her."

this stanza is kinda confusing. you say he doesnt care for her.. and then it says, he woudl rather have her..

are there two girls in the picture where he wants someone else? i think that needs to be clearer.. but otherwise, its coing out great and keep writing.

Aww this is really sad, but i can relate to some of it! wonderful job on this. i think you did a great job! it flowed really nicely. i dont see anything wrong with it. 5/5

~Kristina