A Pathetic Loner

I feel like i am going to break and soon.
I had my cries out to people but feels like i just got shunned away.
Just makes me realize i am alone
Alone in this world
I tried talking to people but now i just hold it in.
I feel pathetic
Weak
Little and lifeless
I feel alone so much
I read books to cover them
Just like make up
The more you put the more you are trying to cover.
Like books the more you feel alone the thicker or more books you bring.
I've depended on people but turns out..
That they might as well just shun you the biggest time when your in need.
All the times I've tried but i know its not enough.
Its never enough trough everyone's eyes
Am i just lazy?
Am i not good enough for this world.
Is my loneliness a moment of despair in this world?
Along with this loneliness i have a maturity a little bit above my age or far beyond it.
I don't laugh with kid jokes or with kids messing around.
I think it's sort of stupid
But i am turning anti-social as well..
When people are all around i think
"You don't care" or "Get Away"
I don't want this feeling anymore.
But i am turning to the point where i can't really socialize anymore..
Help me..