Happy April Fool's (In Love) Day!

hiya my non-descript, run of the mill, plain looking acquaintance
phew at last, a slowing down of all this adoration, a break from all the school girl puppy love. must admit slightly relieved as it does get a bit samey being told hold wonderful i am all the time, how much you couldnt live without me, my blues eyes etc. in fact sumtimes wasnt going for a cuppa when i briefly left our chats was merely going to the toilet and barfing!
im over the moon that i can go out again and eye up all the ladies, indulge in a few meaningless shags with a few old flames down some dank dark alleys. wham bam thank you mich for the let off.
`havent dreamt for hours of the first time we kiss` i should bloody well hope not too. i mean do i look desperate? who in their right mind would want your repulsive boat race (face) stuck against their head! and ive known you have felt like this MANY times before, been speaking to yr attractive friends and i knew yr moniker `maneater` wasnt intended to be ironic. (im presuming now that you know what ironic means. know how long news takes to get to those backwards one street towns!!)
no more guilt when i give you all this bullsh*t about not being married, or really living in england! actualy im from france sweetheart were women are REAL women and not some bedraggled hippy who spends their entire existance dreaming of something they have never had, or will ever likely to have!! i mean immergration, were you really serious? its not as if yr britany or anything!!!!
and you are so right, mind-gap was all from personal experiance, but dnt worry yrself, i only ever lunch on attractive girls in the prime of their life, not some old heifer whos already showing the advance stages of middle age!
yes the bloody sea, my savoiur, phew. can jus imagine if it wasnt there you would have been over ages ago. i gulp at jus the thought!
`dnt dare think for a minute, that for your love, id ever beg` sad that you think that way michelle cause its the only way you are ever gonna get anyone to love you!!! what do you have to offer a guy? yr not attractive in the least, yr personality has as much charisma as a rotting corpse, and who in their right minds gonna want to live in a town where the only excitment is breakfast at sum stoopid diner! wow a real walk on the wild side!!!
`and lovingly stroke yr face` omg p*ssing my self with laughter here, wait until i tell the lads that one, gonna keep us in fits for hours. `not falling asleep as i write this` well you should be asleep mich, not being funny but yr begining to look a bit gaunt and haggard. thats why ive always wanted to log off first. only so much my stomach can take you know!!! and look at the date of this comment `honey` no fooling here!!!!!

Seriously though michelle another brilliant poem, very original to inverse yr feelings, thus emphasising yr exact desires. jus cause yr so damn adorable and so strikingly beautiful was going to give it a 5 anyway, but its worth more. keep em comming babe, i never get bored of your talent. you always make me proud of jus knowing you. you should really try and find out about publishing. big kisses/blows in the ear/pulling you in tight from behind&love to you angel xxx

It was funny as. Ur really good at poetry. All sorts of types. Everybody looks up to u so keep it up. Luv, Rose

Really Great Poem! I like the way you say exactly how you do feel....but in reverse because of April Fool's! Awesome....you really are good. I always enjoy reading your new work. I look forward to more of yours in the future. Good luck to you and yours....and wit Craig...im sure you two will someday be together and happy just like me and my girl will someday. Once again..awesome!

-Seanny