Not meant for this

Smiles surround me everywhere i go. I wonder if they are as fake as mine. If life is such a pleasure than why do I want to leave so bad. Cuts upon my wrists and thighs. Burns fill my arms. The scars remind me when im not strong. I can\\\'t be in a relationship and i cant focus in anything. Sometimes i feel im in a movie and everything is just slow motion like im not even there. if only this were true. Maybe id be better off. Maybe youd be better off. Therapy for what? A waste of their money. Pills day after day. Is this gonna get anywhere. This is who i am. Ya so i shud prolly change but i dont care ive become who i am ive wasted all the days. Drugs in the morning to sooth the pain.

People never see through these eyes or they choose to ignore. Why bother when im not willing to change just let me be. i wont forget the day i woke up in that hospital bed. I almost had what ive been waiting for and now i have to go tru all this shit.

Some people just arnt meant to be here so if you want me to be happy youll let me go youll let me be youll let me die.

They life is to short. Well for me it feels there is no end.