by dollwithafrown Jan 22, 2007
category :
Sadness, depression /
lost relationships
``````````````````````````````````` |
The description oin this short story was really great. You could imagine it all. I like the way the first paragraph and the secound one contradict each other, it was very effective. The vocabulary usage was good, and i really liked the begining more then the ending yet overall it was a good short story. keep writng! xx |
by donk2ymouth
Short stories for the win! I like the description used in this, it's vivid. Now, I'm not going to be one of those people who say, "I could almost see it" because I'm sure you'll get that a lot in future comments, but I was able to paint a picture and add in details, even the ones that were missing, For example, only his eyes were described, but I managed to in vision a whole person. The ending is, not as strong as the beginning, but the rest of the short story makes up for it. Keep up the good work. |
Im sorry to hear that :( |
by Tormented
Im soo sorry to hear that |