Insomniac Rants

Falling over,
But not even feeling the ground,
I search around in my darkness,
Trying to capture the sun.
Voices whirl like
Merry-go-rounds,
Toffee apples discarded around.
Laughter of children echoes through my mind,
Guilt and fear
Over all the things I left behind.
Impulsive decisions,
Now it's too late.

I should have been silent,
And careful and weak,
Instead I showed them all,
My wild streak.
Caged and abandoned,
In lonely despair,
I wish you'd hug and hold me,
I wish that you'd care.

Repetitive smiles,
In black and white,
I break through the canvas,
And the colors shine bright.
A painting hanging on the wall,
A low scream at the back
Of an animal's throat.
It feels like letting go of the one thing you love,
Knowing full well that I will never hold you again.

There's a tortured cry,
From a hoarse voice.
I've been screaming inside,
All of my life.
This is the drug of dreams,
And I'm quietly addicted.
If I could only fall asleep,
To dream of you again.