Live or die?

When it's my time to go
I'll still be in your dreams,
Making you smile from time to time
And running like the streams.

The silent breeze across your face
Will be me just popping by,
To make sure your ok and happy
I wish you could see me, i sye.

I reach out to hug you
But i just hug thin air,
I want you to always remember
That I'm still here and i care.

I care about my family the most
And my friends i truly adore,
But this life is to complicated and hard
My body and heart hurt they are that sore.

I'm trying my best to stay alive
But inside I'm really dying,
Even when i smile and laugh
Inside I'm truly crying.

I'll look down on you when i decide to go
As the choice i choose depends on me,
And when i choose to live or die
My grave is what you'll see!!