Hey Charisma,
Totally awesome poem...really great imagry and it was actually really sad. But it was also very original, and I like that a lot. One suggestion,

change this line, "Your a craving I must have." to You're. But other than that it was awesome.

Oh and I took your advice on my new one if you wanna check it out. I really don't know how I missed that that didn't rhyme...thanks for saving that. :) See yah!
~Midnight Sun

Wow that's awesome! i just wanted to tell you good job on showing emotion!

Dont worry about the votes i gave this one 5/5 its writen from the heart about a loss that the heart just cant take, i absolutly love this poem!!!! thank you for sharing it :))

Hey there, I really liked this poem its sad but good. I love the words they rythme perfectly and make good sense. Keep up the originality, hope to soon read more .:*.

Ok on my last poem...I wrote from the perspective of my mom, lol. She was talking to me about expanding my horizons as far as what kind of poems I write and so instead of a dark one I did this one. Lol! :) Hope you liked it!
~Midnight Sun

Wow!I really loved this poem. Love makes us feel so many emotions. Very well written. Great job!