Very well spoken. I think this would make an incredible song.

I think I know why the rating was like that, The last line is weird, I would put In you I trust instead, it's still the same words, just in an order that fits with the last stanza better you know? But then again, it might not have totally fit in with the repitition...but yea, thats just my opinion. But I thoguht the rest was great! 5/5. and I'm gonna add you to my favorite's and read more of your stuff, cause your really good.

~Alicia :D

I personally love it. I think that the last not-rhyming line gives your poem a quirky unexpected twist. I think it's cute. :)
PV