Innocence

A tragic write. I unfortunatly know someone to whom this was true, thanks he's locked up now. I think the length was appropriate and so was the wording. I will say though I think there may be a better word than "doom" as this seems out of place in there. I realise you used it to rhyme but it's not good to use a word purely because it rhymes. Also, for some reason the flow was lost a little on the next to last line, I think adding just one more syllable may help there.
Touching poem, thanks for sharing.

A horrible story but you wrote it beautifully. I'm very impressed, you're so young and so talented. I can't wait to see what you write in the future. Great job! 5/5

marcella

Wow. I was also impressed with this one. I usually dislike raping stories very much because they're so graphic and there are so many terms that could be left out. This one seemed to keep me entranced, and I wanted to read more.

I hope this has not happened to you. That would be an awful burden to carry for the rest of your life and no one deserves that. If you need to talk, don't be afraid to PM me. =)

The poem...The flow was amazing. I didn't think the flow would be that well done. And as I said before, the story wasn't gruesome and it had just enough info to keep the reader's mind on it.

The flow was rather well done as well. The rhymes didn't feel forced and the words just kept coming like it was as simple as writing a book. You are very talanted. I hope you keep writing. =) 5/5 xoxo

Samantha

I really like this one too but i dont thinkit is as good as the other one i read still it has a lot of meaning and thought

You can really see it going on. Its like watching a movie of it happening in your head, and I suppose thats what makes it so sad; it is real. I loved the part about her swinging. It just added a little bit of humanity to it, in a way.