Harder Than Goodbye

I have to come this realization on my own.
I am only in love with love.
If a guy says 'I love you', I say it back.
But, when I say it, I do not mean it.
I only say it because it is what I want.
I want to be in love.
And, I want to be in love with a special person.
And, when i think of a special guy, my mind always leads me to him.
It is always him and never anybody else.
If I am with another guy and I close my eyes, I always see his face.
It is sad to picture someone else's face.
Why can't I get over him?
In nine days it will be nine months since we broke up.
You are the only person I have ever dated that I can not get over.
I have tried so hard to move on , but I can not.
I always think of what could have been.
You seemed to have moved on within a couple of days.
And, then you date my best friend.
That killed me.
It hurt more than you breaking up with me.
And, after you got rid of her, you went right back to another girl.
And, you are still with her.
It seems as if you will be together forever.
And, that is what gets to me the most.
I guess everyone was right.
Letting go is harder than goodbye.

****Written on 9-20-06 about an ex-boyfriend.