Held Back

I sit on my bed with a knife in my hand
im ready to use it to put it all to an end
but then i think of reasons not y should i not do this y shouldnt i pull through
its not like i have sumbudythats there 4 me im always alone n thats how its alwiz been
even though i have friends they dun reele no
they dun understand me or c all mii sorrow
so i look over the reasons stoppin me frum doin thisand im sad 2 say there arent any on the list
nothin keeps me alive but sum how i breathe
but that will soon change i will sease 2 b
so i put the knife close to my hand about to make the final cut about to cut mi veins but agen i am held back
fear had held me back from commitin suicide so i move the blade a bit make a cut n start to cry why cant i do this IM 2 DAMN SCARED thats y so 2nite i still lay down 2 sleepthe onli thing that has changed are a few additional cuts thats the onli thing ive gained and i will have 2 wake up the next mornin ill have to keep on livin ill have 2 keep on sufferin