Wow! again with the wonderful descritptions and strong emotions... definitly my favorite of the 4 i have read!

Beautifully written. Dark yet you made your point across in a lovely way...your a very talented writer, so keep it up!
~jenifer~

Dark. depressing, but really well written. youve managed to catch the emotion excelently. congrats

Its sad but really makes you think. I really liked it!
although, id watch out for

"my heart is pounding a minute"

because it doesnt really make sense (but that mite just be me!! :s) i wasnt sure if u meant ur heart was pounding just for a moment, or if it was pounding fast!

neways other than that i absolutely loved it!

xx

I liked the first few stanzas for the form. You made your first point in 5 lines, and went to 4. Then you made a Dramatic change of words in your second 5 line stanza, but you seemed like you got tired of writing and just threw some words together in a few lines so you could end it. It was still good meaning though

Very good poem. You are a very gifted writer. 5/5
-Vino

Keep up the good work