Well...these last 2weeks have been hard...with having to get threw the 3rd year anniversary of Soph\\\'s death and then it should have been her 19th...
Dear Soph,
Ma darling... I miss you more than anything..I hope you enjoyed your birthday up with all the other angels of the world one of which is your lovely mother (my second mum as I always said) Jean... I know you were both present on Friday night when we went in the local pub and raised a glass to you soon as it struck 12...and I knew you were present on Saturday night when we went out celebrating your birthday... I asked everyone raise their glass for you...and sure enough they did even if they didn\\\'t know you! If you would have been there in person you would have gone bright red and hid behind your hair just like you always did lol! I never understood why you did that because you were always the loud one out of the two of us... you were always the one talking to random people and whistling if you saw a nice guy lol yet when it came down to putting you on the spot like singing happy birthday to you or something like that you would hide then shout at me hehe! But a special girl like you needs loads of praise..It\\\'s because of you that I am who I am today.. You taught me to keep smiling...to keep on aiming high no matter what life throws at me.. and you taught me never to cry at what has happened... just concentrate on the things that are to come... but it\\\'s times like these I can\\\'t help but to cry because the one person that knew me inside out ...the one person that was my life... the one person that meant the world to me has gone... and she aint ever coming back.. but I always look back on the times we have spent together... the laughs that we have had and even though the tears still fall I can\\\'t help but smile because there was not a bad time we went through...not once did we fall out...and not once did we argue...unless it was play fighting of course lol... The only memory I cry about without a smile on my face is the memory and vision of you lying in that hospital bed...all those nasty wires attached to you... and it reminds me of how I couldn\\\'t be there for your last moment in life... when I promised you I would be with you until your last taken breath... and forever I shall be sorry for not being there to hold your hand... not being able to share those last few minutes with you will hurt for the rest of my life... But I shall be with you one day and until then... I shall keep living my life the way I want..the way you taught me to live it..the way you would have lived your life and I will keep the memory of you alive!
