Bitter-sweet

I'm painted in pain
and colored in confusion
i cant see past my hurt and delusion
my eyes are open
but my mind is closed
I'm feeling forgotten and alone
I'm walking blind
Ive wandered beyond my limits
I'm so tired of this
I'm sick of running
and I'm sick of the unknown
I'm sick of being alone
words are useless
and medicine doesn't help
you're making life a living hell
even more so than it already was
I've hurt for so long
its almost like a buzz
its a bitter-sweet relief
one i get when i make myself bleed
its all i have to fight my fears
its what i use to stop the tears