First love

I am finally realizing, after years of never really getting it, that I have lost you forever.

It is hard to think that I will not have your love again, not ever.

But I am dealing with this now, I do not know how it took so long to get over you

But I have always heard that the first cut is the deepest, and I wish it was not true.

Guess the first cut takes longer to heal too, because after years it is only just starting to get better, though I do think I will be fine.

I do not think the pain ever really disappears but the scars are less visible, and now I am not crying.

i blamed myself for so long but I try to think now that it was your drug abuse that did it to us. You made me believe that it was all me just because.

I loved you, you loved me, key word loved as in the past. You will always be my first, but I am almost over you and I know you will not be my last.