Your Dying Secret

by XXXrusted silverXXXwas nvr good enough to be goldXXX   Feb 1, 2007


Everyday I listen-while you break my heart,
I pretend it doesn't hurt,
It doesn't tear my life apart.
Your secrets and your sorrows have forever left a stain,
No remover can erase it,
A black disease within my veins.
You tell me it's a burden, I must bare alone,
I may tell no one,
A golden rule you set in stone.
Your trust in me means so much-that's not the point at all,
but now I'm left broken,
I can no longer stand as tall.
You looked me in the face and said I must never shed a tear,
maybe it's unfair,
unable to cry over my darkest fear.
So now I must be strong-for I gave you my word,
even when your not there,
if I bend I'm afraid you somehow heard.
You can look into my eyes and see into my soul,
and you know-that's exactly where,
you left my growing hole.
I have nothing left to offer, but support and my hand,
the rest of me is gone,
but by your side I swear I'll stand.
There's one last thing we left unsaid,but in turn you asked,
I must watch you leave this world,
and never look into the past.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by in.need.of.a.lucky.charm

    Omg. your the only poet that ive come across that i can really REALLY feel what you are portraying in your words. i just loved this one. i dont know what to say. it was perfect

    much love and many kisses,
    bex

  • 17 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    Did you and your sister write this together?
    It seems like two different voices and two different skills.
    Great job, however, this is a silly error lmfao!

    *bare alone, *
    should be
    *bear alone*
    ?

    Ha ha!

    Good job!
    5/5
    ~stephen white

  • 17 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    No, no hope for you what so ever! I'm joking, it wasn't bad actually, Could still use work, but I've read so, so much worse!!!
    You had a mixture of descriptions - some that impressed me; some that did not.
    What did impress was "No remover can erase it,
    A black disease" and "A golden rule you set in stone" and "I have nothing left to offer, but support and my hand."
    I wasn't keen on "you break my heart"and "cry over my darkest fear" and " look into my eyes and see into my soul." The reason is new ideas are more powerful.
    I'll give you a little tip - if you write a description and think "that's good because I've read it before and it sounded good then" that's a bad move. Use a little imagination, let everything go, and feel what you're describing. What can you compare it to? The more "out there" the better generally.
    The flow was a little off in places, but I think that's due to the inconsistancy of the line lengths.
    Seriously though, it was quite good.
    Just have a go with the tip I offered (if you want) and see what you come up with.
    Thanks for sharing. Keep writing.

  • 17 years ago

    by supratim

    It is really a fabulous poem.
    embellished with such feelings that can touch anyone's heart..
    a continious overflow of pain could be felt from begenning till end..
    really a good job..5/5

    GOD BLESS

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