Envious Regrets

I do not love you.

I cannot say that, because, of course
I really do...
I'm sure of it, my friend
I know my love is true

Even though you're with your girl
And I'm all alone
I promise till forever
We won't be overthrown

There sits your queen
On her golden throne
Here I am again
Just your friend, all alone

What a spoiled brat, I say
For thinking that
She's loved you more than me
..As if that's a fact!

I've loved you past forever
And I know I always will
You're my joy, not just any boy
Although I am a jealous girl

Of the seven sins, I'm full of
That daring, beautiful, tempting
Envy... that makes my blood boil
And my mouth spit out cold words

"Yes, I'm okay...
Shouldn't you be with -her-?
Psst... you're so sweet...
Hey, why aren't you with your girl?!"

I say all of this
Pretending to be coy,
Because, of course, I envy her
For taking away my special boy

As you walk down the aisle
As that woman bears your child
Think of me,
And how... it could truly be

If only I'd asked you sooner
If I wasn't put on hold
If I said you were my treasure
Worth more than your weight in gold

Would it make a difference...?
Would you have chosen me?
Would I have been yours?
Or would she still be?

I continue to pine
All of my time
Into a piece of paper
And a broken pen

I won't cut my arm
And resort to self harm
I won't think of your kiss
Which I will always miss

Inside of my dreams
That involve you and me
I cannot... will not... succumb
But i must

~Envious Regrets~