Not Alone...

Lately I can't find myself.
I feel my insides start to melt.
I betray the one's I love the most.
Push away everyone that was close.
I fear I'm turning into what I never wanted to be.
But that person is starting to grow inside of me.
Over and over again.
I screw it all up again.
I can't find the wrong or right.
The answers aren't even in sight.
I threw away the one thing I wanted the most.
I lost control, I just froze.
I can't feel me.
I can't feel what's right.
I can't feel my life.
Everything seems to be falling apart.
It held so well from the start.
Now it's all gone.
It's all wrong.
I didn't want it to be like this.
I'm still in search of bliss.
Maybe that's one of the things that I missed.
Maybe if I turn the right corner it could change.
But then again I turn the wrong corner and everything seems so strange.
Nothing makes sense anymore.
I don't want to find what I'm looking for.
The person in the mirror is lost.
His directions are covered in frost.
He can't find his way out.
And when he looks in the mirror all he see's is doubt.
I can't ever be what I thought.
The guy in the mirror is all he's got.
Often times I forget that, that guy is me.
I look in the mirror and see what I don't want to see.
Darkness surrounds his every move.
The fear that he will lose.
Everything that he loves the most.
And everyone that was close.
He reaches for something to hold onto.
But there isn't anything he can do.
Drowning inside of himself.
My insides begin to melt.
Frost covered directions are all I've got.
The mirror shows me everything I'm not.
Don't let me die inside myself.
I can't deny how I felt.
I'd ask you but you wouldn't know.
Slowly I begin to let myself go.
Losing the grip I had on me.
Slowly I begin to go free.
I close my eyes.
Everything that was there dies.
Slowly start to drift away.
With very little to say.
The person I didn't want to be.
Comes alive inside of me.
I let myself go.
But you wouldn't know.
I look in the mirror and don't see me,but someone else.
I lost the hold I had on myself.
I'm still here, but in a different form.
I'm still here, but torn.
I'm lost inside of myself.
I can't deny how I felt.
I sewed the hole I made.
So I could finally escape.
The hole inside myself is sewn.
Just so I'm not alone...