I really think this has great potential!!! I can relate in only every way. I really like it. But... I think that it needs a better flow. And its poetry- therefor you dont need all the periods, or commas. Especially when you have stanza's, or in your case (need them)/ Im not being mean tho. Seriously im not. I just try to help. lol sorry if you get the wrong idea. But thanks for the comment.

I like the idea of the poem. but the poem itself is a little off. because the flow is sketchy. and i cant really tell if its supposed to rhym or not simply because it rhyms in random places. idk if that is purposly done or by accident.

-liz

I tried to fix the stanza's and periods, but it didn't improve much. Oh well.

The rhyming was NOT intentional :)

I liked it alot so i gave it a 5 nice work
btw im kaila