A Story

[this is more like a short story then a poem]

she sat there at the computer thinking
*i have no one*
as she lets the sorrow seep in she wonders...
*will he ever love me the same way i love him? ill die without my 1st kiss*
because she will probably slit her wrists before morning. all she wanted was to go to sleep but she was sleepless. she thought how she needed a drink right now. if she couldn't sleep she would be put to sleep. she looked at those scissors laying next to her. oh how she longed to pick them up.
*how did i get this way? i used to be daddy's little girl who believed in god. now i don't. i used to want to go to the zoo and get the big ice cream cone now i lock myself in my room. i used to care bout the earth and the people on it now i keep myself somewhat distant*
as the CD player changed CDs she listened.. crickets..thoughts of suicide drift away. she finds herself floating on clouds of infinite possibility. abruptly the new CD begins to play. its jack Johnson, better together she always thought of that as their song..."its always better wen we're together we'll look at the stars when we're together" she sighed the darkness in her eyes came back. she glanced back at those scissors.

she and her friends always hear bout those freaks committing suicide but she never knew she would become one. no one had a clue what she was really like because she played the prefect preppy girl with the skirts and bright colors. no one would ever know what was behind those hazel eyes and pearly smile. she began to reach for those scissors
*don't do it...hes not worth your life*
she picked them up slowly spread the two ends apart and watched the metal shine
*don't do it*
this was not the time for her mind to come alive
*DROP THEM*
her hand began to tremble. shaking, she dropped them onto the soft brown carpet. she fell back onto her bed crying.
*i should have just done it!!*
she wiped her eyes and crawled under the covers.
*i wonder what would happen if i did do it..would he care and how much? would he cry?*
how she longed to know the answer to these questions but knew they will never be answered. she filled with pain to the bottom of her soul. oh how she wished to just disappear from the world around her. she threw her head into her pillow..all she could think about was how he was in love with her best friend. all the thoughts came screaming back. she hid in the darkness of her covers. she needed to sleep she was confused with life and needed a break. she closed her eyes with tears streaming down her face. soon enough night mares found her....