Long Painful Suicide

In the morning it begins,
From when I open my eyes
Only to see the sun outside
I struggle to get out of bed

Its so hard to say "Im ok"
School is getting harder
They are beginning to notice
Why I dont try anymore

I keep hiding it but its too hard
How much longer can I do this?
I think all day long of a plan
My plan to escape my prison

Why cant I just be happy?
I cant do this anymore
It feels like no one understands
I need someone to be there

I scream for help
But no one helps me
I cry cause Im scared
But no one come to my rescue

The night approaches
Its just a few minutes away
Im thinking to myself
Is this it? Is the time right?

I reach for my stash
Many pills are gathered
I pick all of them up
Throw them down my throat

I lost count of how many
But the number didnt matter
As long as it did its job
God I hope it would

My eyes grow heavy
I cant stay awake
I lose all my energy
Now I finally fall asleep

To my surprise
Morning doesnt come
It stays dark now
I finally have done it

I watch as my mother
Finds my helpless body
She screams for help
But its too late

My life was way overdue
And now I paid the dept
My pain is over
But another one has occurred

Im sorry for what I did

-its not great i know... but it's exactly how i feel.. and what i worry about-