Hide and Sink

by Weeping Wolf   Feb 6, 2007


Hide and Sink

-This style is quite different from my other poems. it does not rhyme or have flowing lines, (but similar stanzas if you look back at them) but is to be read slowly. I put more similes and 'objects' in it than other poems, but it is very metaphorical, tell me what you think.

What is this? What the hell is going on?
This can't be happening again.
Well, this is odd.
This is quite sad.

So, spin me forcefully 'round
As I rub eyes again
I can't believe I'm seeing this again
Disbelief.
In such a predictable circumstance.

Dust has barely begun to fall
and your light is on
finding its way, blurring my vision
these deserted streets
a mess of people
stopping to bow heavy heads
of regrets not lifted
from their stone shoulders.

Hide and Seek
In an empty house
Oh you won't catch me
a ransom note
lying in this abyss
like one knife in a basket of spoons

Dark marks on the gates
Where pleasure moments hung before
The Fall, the take over of this

Mold me.
like gum beneath your toes
every person changes me
every person is hollow in their blue-prints
till they are choked with memories

Hide and Sink
In a lake a thousand miles deep
Oh you won't save me
A drowning bubble
scrambles to the surface
I watch it flee from my outstretched hand.

Bloody marks on the walls
where painful moments hung before
the collapse, the take down of this.

Taint me.
like spilled milk on the black carpet
every one of them owns a scar
every one of them leaves a scar
Till the velcro straps become too tight.

Trailing on familiar streets
a jump in your heart, then flat-line
as it passes.
a crowd of frozen people
holding out their palms
Face up, to display the dirt
That they have hid from you all along.

Push the nail down deeper
sinking, feeling,
a sweeping loss of words
the rug beneath you unraveling
the holes torn in your socks
tangled dusty hair
You stand. A still life.
(as time and wind leave you behind in emptiness)

The unstable voices halt
silence surrounds you as you sink.
You were always hiding
so how could you have found anything at all?

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by myshiningstar14

    Wow that piece was so strong, Hide and Sink
    In a lake a thousand miles deep
    Oh you won't save me
    A drowning bubble
    scrambles to the surface
    I watch it flee from my outstretched hand.**

    that such great imagery..i love your style's and how you make your poems original, they really stand out. greattttttttt job. 5/5

    melissa

    **

  • 17 years ago

    by Gary Jurechka

    Hey, Laylawolf-This is really excellent and quite a departure from your usual style. The emotion and original images are there as it the meaning and milieu.It has a vague minimilast feel to it and a strong sense of the surreal.But the style you wrote it in works wonderfully. It is good to see you grow and expand, I swear you get better with every poem-and you were fantastic long ago! I also like the amiguity, as in people can interpret this different ways just as emotionful and with meaning as it meant to you on another level. Again, your fantastic and unique use of language and such vivid images and the way you communicate still shine though the style/form only adds to aa excellent piece, and a growth point in your work.You are truly a master who only gets better. Keep experimenting! Write on!

    Peace, Poetry & Power,
    Gary Jurechka

  • 17 years ago

    by Unrequited

    Wow... do you have any idea how similar this is to my style??? The only difference is that you are sooo much better at it! This poem... really spoke to me. The emotion, it fills this piece through and through. It is sad... but I looove it.

  • 17 years ago

    by Dark Demise

    Very nice! a new style of poem I love it =D

  • 17 years ago

    by Dark Demise

    Nice,nice, =)