The words pulsate like a single breath, clinging to the single outlet of your lungs as the air in your soul seems to disappear into thin air.

_________

For some reason, the 'gum beneath you toes' line really stands out to me... I never thought about it that way... how people can mold others without even knowing...

I love how nostalgic this piece is. The emotion quivers like an arrow about to be shot from a bow.

~~~Is there such a thing as a poetry museum?? ~~ :)

~*Luv it! Keep up the good work! And thanks for sharing!*~

luv,
~ur sis~
Rainy

Nice,nice, =)

Very nice! a new style of poem I love it =D

Wow... do you have any idea how similar this is to my style??? The only difference is that you are sooo much better at it! This poem... really spoke to me. The emotion, it fills this piece through and through. It is sad... but I looove it.

Hey, Laylawolf-This is really excellent and quite a departure from your usual style. The emotion and original images are there as it the meaning and milieu.It has a vague minimilast feel to it and a strong sense of the surreal.But the style you wrote it in works wonderfully. It is good to see you grow and expand, I swear you get better with every poem-and you were fantastic long ago! I also like the amiguity, as in people can interpret this different ways just as emotionful and with meaning as it meant to you on another level. Again, your fantastic and unique use of language and such vivid images and the way you communicate still shine though the style/form only adds to aa excellent piece, and a growth point in your work.You are truly a master who only gets better. Keep experimenting! Write on!

Peace, Poetry & Power,
Gary Jurechka

Wow that piece was so strong, Hide and Sink
In a lake a thousand miles deep
Oh you won't save me
A drowning bubble
scrambles to the surface
I watch it flee from my outstretched hand.**

that such great imagery..i love your style's and how you make your poems original, they really stand out. greattttttttt job. 5/5

melissa

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