The abyss

The ground falls away at my feet
the darkness engulfs me
falling into the abyss all because of you.

full of fear and bitter loneliness.
because i saw what the future holds
i welcome death with open arms it was the only way i could to find solace

when you moved separate ways
i could not choose between you two, people i deemed most important. you are more important than my own family.

my world has collapsed in a heap trapping me within...
the ground collapsed and the descent began leaving no path back up

then you caught me bringing me to a halt u saved me...but you've let me start falling again... was this your intention all along?

there seems to be no end to this descent... rather be dead than falling through this bitter darkness

where is a gun or a knife when u need it? what keeps me falling so fast? ...its the responsibilities of looking after those i cherished who maybe without knowledge are killing me from the inside

a voice within brings back reality and the importance of my survival.
the thoughts of jumping from great heights jumping in front of cars, all seem to bring about more pain that i don't want the others to suffer through for it might cause their own demise.

so suffer on in silence engulfed in the darkness, and the eternal falling through space. never to find peace until all is lost including ones self. this is the choice made by a caring heart i cannot forsake them.