Persuading Act

by BrixGoesxRawr   Feb 8, 2007


She's a burst of luminous colors; eyes always turning her way
Always has her head up high, as she walks through the school hall
Laughing and joking with friends; it's just another perfect day
She looks so vigorous with her alluring smile, walking so tall

But does anyone really know the truth about this girl?

She hates being so gorgeous, because that's all that they see
They don't see deep down into her heart, or her soul
She acts flawless, because that's who they want her to be
They don't know that inside she's lost all control

She's petrified that they wouldn't accept her if they knew
Everything that she has done, every mistake she has made
They don't really know her; they don't have a single clue
About how she has deceived, and how she has betrayed

Not ever again will her life be on the right track
She wants to get it all out, she wants to confess
But she's messed up too many times, she can't turn back
Behind her persuading act, she's really not flawless

Brianna Carter
February 7, 2007.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Poetic Ninja aka Papachopchop

    Flawless job baby girl! Excellent write. Don't worry, I just don't see the golden heart of Bri being something people won't except, unless they are just an idoit or something, and in that case who needs 'em right?

  • 17 years ago

    by Stephanie

    Wow.
    I, myself feel like this at times. & there are many more teenage girls that do too. Quite heartbreaking actually. The flow was flawless & the story that was told was amazing, Keep writing! 5/5

    Stephanie Lynn .+.

  • 17 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    So vigorous with = i don't think that is the appropriate word... maybe so "perfect".... or maybe even "persuasive" ?!

    But does anyone really know the truth about this girl? = no. (hee hee!)

    She acts flawless, because that’s who they want her to be= She always acts flawless, it's what they wish to see

    the right track= good line, but i dunno... just something pecuiliar about it...

    I really like this poem.. originally unoriginal.
    Great job.

    5/5
    ~Stephen White

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni

    I really enjoyed this poem! You used such a wide variety of language and the total usage of your techniques just made this poem flawless. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by tryinXtoXholdXmyXheadXup

    It was interesting; the look into a life of someone that has it all but is broken inside, a understandable and very true story. Very well written and I would not change this poem any cause you might ruin it that way. Great great great poem and I will finish these up soon for you, sorry for the delay, I am sick sick sick and working and yea my life is a little full, great poem I enjoyed it a lot it was a great write and out of cliché enough for me !!! you continue to write and critique its your game now!!

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