Wow... thats all i can say.
This poem is really really great! I loved the flow of it, the words used were outstanding! I was literally hooked from the first stanza. Honestly, "bare wrist waits patiently", the entire poem has just so much vivid imagery, the descriptions are perfect. You can almost see the picture in your head. The last staza, "begin to cover the skin with red" - I like the fact that you odnt say blood yet its obviously there. The your repittion of "one last..." on the end line. I thought itconcluded the poem brilliantly and i really really loved it. Keep it up! xx

The first stanza set the way it was. Too good. The last line seemed to stand out. The words were really...vivid for this piece. The imagery was awesome it was like the images were clear in my mind. Like I said this is too good. It's excellent.
~Faith-less

Wow, this was so haunting! Love the descriptive words and the imagery was vivid and gripping... Very dark, but written so well...

That was really good, quiet dark.. but hey it was great.. i really liked the tiltle that is what pulled me in and kept me..

great piece...
keep wrighting...

Lovely Bones

When I finished this poem, I literally said, "Woah." out loud. It was that good.

The descriptions were perfect, they left me with vivid yet sad pictures in my mind of this arm bloodied.

Wonderful job, this is excellent proof that poetry can both be profound and still have a shock effect.

5/5

Very good

Great write! I loved the imagery. I found it quite amazing, cos I could feel the pain in this poem and that rarely happens when I read dark/sad poems. I love the depth! Once again, great job!

I think this is a great poem. Amazing imagery, very descriptive. It gave me chills towards the end. Very powerful.

"The scent of blood that stains the sink is fresh in the air" ...would sound better as, The sent, still fresh in the air, of the blood staining the sink. Though it's just my opinion. And in the first line of the second stanza, it should be stand[s] I think.

Overall I think it was a great piece. 5/5

marcella

One last cut, one last tear, one last breath and all is dark
[[An amazing ending.. However, not the 'all is dark' ... I didn't like that, honestly.]]

This is the most cliche topic I've ever read. And by god, you are a master and making it seem like it's never been written. Nicely done.
It was beautifully written and the discription was breath taking. I could picture everything; those are the best poems. Wonderful, wondreful job, as always.

xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex 5.5

Wow, well written! I love poems like these, chilling, and dark, types that send shivers up your spine. It was so descriptive i had the whole story in my mind. I really love it, keep writing.
Much love,
~*Sara*~

Your entire poem has so much vivid imagery, the descriptions are perfect. You can see the picture in your head. well written 5/5 for you i'll check out more of your stuff when i get a chance

Vivid. At first glance I saw really long lines, which I hate reading, but once I started it all kind of flowed and it did not even bother me that the lines were long. Well done.

Turtle

Made me think of scary things but thats good becayse it was supposed to liked it

Very well penned.
it sounds a lot like the things that i have written..did this come from experience or just a dark thought?

Wow............still in awe here...........Oh my God your poem had so much discription and detail! This poem is tooo good for words to even begin to describe. It had such a dark tone to it and it sent chills throughout my body it was that good!!

O wow. I don't think I have ever had someone write something like this that painted a picture so dang well! Definatley a 5/5. Darien, your a great writer. Don't stop writing.

Your words painted a picture that give me chills. I could see it all in my head, keep that amazing work. You're very talented.
-Heather

DARIENNNNN. This is amazing really. So.. chilling, dark. creepy haha. I loved the title of this. Seriously. It really stood out. It flowed really well & the descriptions were amazing. AND YES. Great minds deffinitley DO think alike. & I got out of a relationship a long time ago.. okay not really, a month :] Um.

OH the [bracketededed words] , I use them to bring more meaning into the poem.. more style.. to single words out. Things like that. :]

Sorry if it confuses you, aha.

I LOVE THIS THOUGH.

BUT. one thing:

One last cut, one last tear, one last breath and all is dark

^ I really really love this line.. I think it really sums up the poem. The 'all is dark' I don't think really fit in , though ;[ But I still liked it.

LOVEYOUDEARY.

Bri [x]

This poem is... WOW... it is amazing! you are a great writer, keep it up!

You are such a great poet. well done. your writing is perfect in everyway. keep writing plz.

5/5 David