Wow in just a couple lines you told pretty much the whole story! That's great talent right there. Keep it up! buh-bye!

I'll have to disagree with the previous comment here, and I'll state right now that this is because I'm a bit of a purist. This is annoyingly abrupt, and yet again shows a hint of promise in your ability not just as a poet, but as a storyteller too. And the latter is an art in itself.

If you can handle a little constructive criticism I would suggest thinking a little longer about the content, and taking a few hours or days over your subject matter. Perhaps leaving it for review after a couple of days away from it. I find this works quite well for me as I often find myself doing some heavy editing or scrapping the poem altogether. Very few feel good from the get-go!

Maybe some people feel better about there poetic ability and are able to like them when the first write them
ed henderson tsk tsk tsk

i liked the poem thing it leaves you wantin more

amberrrr