The Fool Says in Her Heart

In the sunbeams
where I used to glimpse God,
now I see the light glinting off
your tousled hair.

The taut blue bow of a sky
which used to hold a throne, heavenly
and metaphorically crowned with
Truth, now holds for me
beauty only,
beauty pure,
beauty empty and reflected by your eyes.

Now you are the object,
the idol, an adulterous love; strange,
that I would worship your enchanting lips
when all the while my old hymns are
falling empty.

The God of fire and water, of
spirit-moving-over, of bread and wine,
of thunder in the sky -
Eli,
Eli, lema sabachthani?
How is it that I find
You, the essential You, reflected
darkly in the countenance of my lover?

Why can I not find my binds, find my life, my
consummation
in the arms of the eternal?

How is it that I replace the Ultimate with this,
this desperate, delicious, delicate and
devastating desire?

Truly I would surrender all, all to the All,
give up my stupid, foolish,
virgin reticence,
give all
to one.

So catch me, God or Man, and my life will
fall,
aching and willing
into your strong hands.