Wait! Wait! Wait!
Don't you touch my parents.
They love me--how could I want them dead?

^^ now there is my sweet Dhaval :-) better thoughts!,...I lke your writes, they are so unique and thought provoking.....your choice of words is what make it the best!....I hope you get through all this hun, and if not for a while, you know my e-mail :-)
Love you always,
Chelsey

5/5....great stuff coming from you during this hard time!

Calm down. It's just a poem. Better to write about it, than do it. Plus, every teenage falls out with their parents, it's natural. You'll grow out of it.

What can I say, I'm blunt. And we have a difference in opinion.
But honestly everyone has depression at some point, I know from experience.
It's just the word kill automatically puts OTT in my mind, I guess I don't like that word, because sucide isn't the answer, nor is murder (I know you know that).

And in my poem the comma was in thw wrong place...it should read her poision, toys with my sobar notions, rather than her poision toys.....

**holds white flag** I don't want to fight either, I'm actually a pacifist lol

Haha, cheers mate.
Take care.

Very well done dhaval, you have conquered that mental state you were once in. Even though this one is still sad and you are feeling the effects, you will move on and you will be happy again.

Great piece Dhaval - A triumph over depression!! Great work :)

I love the overall structure of this poem and the way it is written. Great work!

There were only two things in this poem that I believe could be improved upon.

The first is word choice. The lack of anything but basic words causes rhymes that sound quite forced.

The second would be the ending. There HAS to be more! lol you've really left the readers hanging.

I did enjoy many parts of this poem though. The imagery is creative and very unique. The title fits amazingly well with the poem, and still provokes creative thoughts in the reader's head. The writing style is also unique-- I had to read over the whole thing a few times before I fully understood it.

Nice poem! 5/5

This was confusing to me, but well written. I am going to read Lunacy so I can understand it.

Beautifully written
wonderfully crafted
it was such pleasure to read this poem
5/5
im sure u'll find my poem
murder or suicide interesting...

do vote & comment.. will comment more of ur poems soon
i happen to be from india as wel..
where inindia u from ??
me from chennai
ok take care
love
amy