Socially Anxious

Why have I become so distant? I'm trapped
inside a box inside my head.I bang on it I
scream at it and on my knees I beg. Please box please get out of my head!It encloses me in a somber space of solitude,where sometimes in my loneliness I find both comfort and despair.It fools me into believing that I don't need anyone there and like a baby with colic given something to soothe the pang. I grab for the decieving hopefilled light that in my box reigns.It tells me that all people do is hurt you and you don't eventually desert you. I know the box is one I built unknowingly to save myself from discrimination and riducule.The box is an unsettling place and filled with self hatred and disgrace.Maybe one day when I get the strength to break the box I will be like the girl I once was inside and out and enjoy life with out fear of being judged. In confidence I will take back the clarity that the bx smudged