Lost

How do i say what i really want without sounding heavy. how do i deal with these unwanted feelings. i held you there so close and i pushed you away with my other hand.

i want you to understand the choice i made was not easy. i didn't want to leave, but can't u see how it made me feel. i felt trapped and alone with only me to get me through.

i was crying all the time while you were sleeping, i loved you and yet i had to choose. stay with you and remind confused or leave and be and be lost and free.

you know i changed and this was not the person you met nor wanted to be with. i changed so much and inside it awake a deep side i tired to hide away.

i said such cruel words and hit out and hurt, i never wanted any of this. i wanted your love which to you was so hard to give. i spend my days trying so hard to get to that side of you.

i was not alone as you were tiring the same, but i think deep down inside you knew i felt for you. I'm not sure has you never spoke of it.

i left and you saw how my world just came down around me, i tired to take my own life. i felt i had no meaning, i just wanted to disappear.

i was desperate, i hit rock bottom and i saw know way of coming up. i wanted to die just with your love. i didn't want it any to be anyone else.

you see you mean that much to me and yet i can't let myself be free. has your face is all i see, the pain you can't see, but trust me it cuts deeps.