Very Nicely written, the flow as well as the structure was very nice. I liked it a lot. Keep up the great work.

Peace, Joe

Very good write, It aroused my suspicions,obsessions and jealousies as I reach for the gun in anger.5/5

Very nice, I enjoyed this a great deal! I love how you let us insert our own words and feelings into the poem, interaction is not somthing you see everyday in poems and i love the uniqueness of it! excellent! =)

I like the style you used for this poem. It shows the emotion well that way.

Ok I'm not overly familiar with this form so I cannot really comment on form usuage, but generally this was a good write.
I liked the use of [guess] it added an ounce of wit to the poem.
I don't know if it was the forms fault or what, but the flow was limited in places. I felt myself having to slow down and read parts again to get into a rhythm.
I wasn't too keen on the first line of the fifth stanza, it seemed forced, maybe you could reword this?
Good though, I love your creativity and experimentation of different forms.
Thanks for sharing.

Oh could you please read my newest it's untitled at the moment, so suggestions would be good. Thanks.

You have a decent rhetorical device operating, here with the 'not to arouse suspision' that repeats throughout - you could show a touch more venomn in this poem.

By the way thanks for you comment on my 'twats with baseball caps' poem. It was a polemic on how we the Brits only take things that are bad from your country - we as a nation are idiots. I wasn't knocking your country. Now go back and read it again within this context.

I'm not familiar with this style, but I thought you did a wonderful job with this.
I'm not sure if the repetition is part of the style? But I liked it, I thought it got your point across very nicely.
I thought the flow was flawless, and that ending was just perfect.

I really liked this. It flowed really well. The repitition really brought the poem together. Everything was .. flawless.

I liked how we could ''guess'' some of the words. That really captivated me :]

Beautifully penned.

Bri x

Wow, another great poem. My only thought is that the flow could use a little improvement. But congrats on the unique idea. 4 stars =D

It's a good poem, the flow has a little problem getting through, but overall it's really good.