If Only You Knew
If only you knew how hard it is to wake up to nothing everyday.
If only you knew what it is like to know that you wont be able to talk to any of your family for 5 years.
If only you knew how it feels to have every little bit of your family taken from you in one day.
If only you knew what it is like to have your dad taken from you and not be able to say goodbye.
If only you knew how it feels to be told everyday for 13 years that your stupid and good for nothing by the one person you look up to.
If only you knew how it feels to know that you wont be able to talk to your dad until your 26 years old.
If only you knew how it feels to be beat everyday by the one person you love the most.
If only you knew how it feels to be shot at by your own dad.
If only you knew how bad you feel when no matter what you do to make your dad proud, only to fail at every attempt.
If only you knew how it feels to walk behind your dad and walk in his footsteps in the snow and want more than anything to be like him. But only for him to turn around and smack you.
If only you knew how it feels to be told that your mom and dad are dead beats and that they dont want you.
If only you knew how it feels to be hanging from a rope in your basement. Wondering why your not dead yet.
If only you knew how it feels to sit in jail for 3 months with no vistors at all.
If only you knew how it feels to take a whole bottle of sleeping pills and wait to die. and then fail at that.
If only you knew how it feels to be told by your mom that your not good enough for her.
If only you knew how it feels to be locked in a room everyday all day for 30 days with nothing but a clock and a bed.
If only you knew how it feels to be told by the last person you love. That there going to die and that it's prolly the last time you'll see them and then promise them that you'll see them again and then not be able to.
If only you knew how it feels to carry your last loved one to there final resting spot. and say good bye.
If only you knew how it feels to need drugs just to get you asleep. otherwize you have nightmares of all the loved ones you lost.
If only you knew how all that feels.
I DO!
would you be afraid of death or would you be welcomeing it to come?
