Alright. Interesting, but cliche as h-ll. [Not good]
My advise:
First off, you're rhyming is decent. Keep up the rhyming at that will get better with time.
Secondly, make your lines about the same syllable count [if one is five, make them all four to six syllables in lenghth].
And thridly, stay away from cliche topics. I know poetry is about letting your emotions go, but let them run free and be more descriptive. Let your emotions go, but find an interesting way to describe them. Alright? =]
If you have any questions, feel free to contact me. =]

xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex