My true hidden pain

My true pain is hidden deep inside
its what I don't want the world to see
the truth is I am no longer who I used to be

Why have I loved him for so long?
Now I have to deal with so much pain
and there is puddles of blood from my veins

I love my family and my dear friends
but they don't know what I have been though
and now there is absolutely nothing they can do

I don't want to live them like this
but I just can't deal with it anymore
I wonder will I walk through the heavenly doors?

But feeling pain for this long
now has been way to long for me
its sad I had pain that no one else could see

but now I have left and I am gone
and so very few people even know
still no one knows why I did even go.