The descriptive words here are amazing, the emotion is eletric!

5/5 David

This was awesome. I loved the way that it flowed and the way that you broke it up. It helped add to the visions in my head. *5/5*

Alyson

Wow this is really good! 5/5

<UnToLd TrUtH>

Very nice! wow. awesome. i loved the style you wrote this in. wonderful flow. absolutely fantastic! i am looking forward to reading more of your poems. you appear to be a very talented writer!!!! 5 for you! -beav

Wow... this poem is filled with such emotion... the strucutre is unique and works very welll... once again the last line is killer... the perfect ending... great job

Very interesting. I like the description of it all. I also noticed you repeated the lines you just said.. For emphasis maybe... You drew an image in my head. I like your style. The flow was great and the rhymes were fine... all execpt that first 2 lines .. same word but the flow made it okay. putting ... at the end of each line made the poem seem to go slow as if dragging on... Get it? Maybe that was the style you were going for I don't know... Anyways overall it was a great poem. I like this part the best:

The longer I leave it, the further the fall..
The more I believe it, the thicker the wall..

Great Write

5/5