A thousand thoughts run through my mind,
twirling this way twirling that way,
i don't know why,
i am suddenly thinking today,
i know your hurting,
yet do i care,
after all when i was hurting,
you decided not to bet there,
should i feel sorry,
even though when i was hurt you caused me more pain,
and when my tears stopped,
you started more rain,
is it my fault that your mom yells at you,
or that her knife stabbing punches go into you,
is this my fault,
tell me who is to blame who,
was i that doctor,
who kept you in the hospital,
just like your mother,
am i on the same level,
should i feel sorry,
for not seeing you hurt,
and start to say mean things,
when you treated me like dirt,
what kind of friend are you,
to not tell me you are in pain,
now you make me fill up,
with agony and shame,
when we got in fights,
and you pinned everything on me to blame,
you left me feeling sorry,
and didn't tell me about your stored agony,
you didn't tell me you have had a bad day,
instead you said mean things to me,
which cause me to say them back,
i just can't believe your pain i didn't see,
now i am thinking about you,
and how i should have seen your hurt,
my insides all messed up and gross,
like some old yucky yogurt,
i try to close in on you,
but you just push me away,
this is a pretty harsh way,
of telling me everything is OK,
true friends tell their secrets,
problems and such,
but i guess,
you don't trust me that much,
even though i was there for you before,
when you felt so down,
and i forgot that one time,
when you dropped me on the ground,
now all the questions,
and blame feels like it is tumbling on me,
but i guess that is what i deserve,
to feel the pain i once couldn't see,
but if i knew your pain,
would i have felt anf different,
would i feel your trust,
even though it is so distant,
would i want to take your place,
like i do right now,
i think i deserve your mother's hits,
but god just wouldn't allow,
week of pain,
that is what you call it,
don't you know,
you not telling me and me finding out makes me feel like s-h-i-t,
yet do you care,
of how i feel,
and should i make around my heart,
to keep you out a fence of steal,
how should i feel right now,
what should i do,
i don't know whether to comfort and hide my pain that you have caused,
or take a chance on losing friendship and just confront you..........................
